another trip around the sun...

it's new years eve! what did you do this year? anything memorable? any regrets?
what's on YOUR agenda for this year?

we're having a low key nye this year. good friends, good food, shenanigans. obviously.
i can't even believe the year is over. i already have a bit of a bad attitude about 2010....
really because of the olympics...that's all, oh and it's totally possible that i could end up picketing. that should be interesting. after that, 2010 should be fine. husband is home for good, so that makes the year better right from the start.

so, memorable for me? too many things to list...vegas girls trip, quinn starting middle school, starting a business...
regrets? far too many to list...i hope not to be able to say that next year. live & learn yes?
and my agenda? sorta ties in to the short regret list...standard goals, be healthy, be happy...

have a wonderful new year. prosperity, happiness & love to you from Rocketgirl. xoxo

in thru the nose...

oh my! i have been having wee little panic attacks again! i don't know why!

yikes!

how was everyone's christmas? boxing day?
i went on a bit of a spring cleaning bender today...like nesting kind of cleaning...and no, i am not with child...just got into the swing of things...next thing you know...dustbunnies, be gone!

i'm full from a lovely sushi dinner...and wish i could sit the next week on the couch.
but alas, i return to work tomorrow. for 4 dayshifts. i know. we're not talking about it anymore.

it's weird to think the hubby is home for good and that tomorrow i don't have to rush and tell him all that i need to tell him before he goes away again. capiche?
he's already busy drywalling and finishing off the basement...doing boy things, rearranging, hammering, grumbling...i'll take it any day.

so hope your boxing day was full of relaxation and good times...so hard to believe that we are getting closer to the end of the year. big changes coming people. don't get all excited. it's resolution time.

d.xo

Merry Christmas!

happy holidays!

feliz navidad!

linksmu kaledu!

nollaig shona dhuit!

shub naya baras!

mele kalikimaka!

god jul!

joyeux noel!

sung tan chuk ha!


to you and yours!

Christmas Eve

i can't believe how different this year is from last year!
i'm referring to the amount of snow...and today looks like spring!

anyhoooo, it's christmas eve. my children are leaving in an hour, the hubby & doggy are already gone...THANK GOD work called! going in for 4 hours this afternoon to help out....that's 4 less hours i have to sit around the house by myself and cry. all alone on christmas eve. meh. at least hubby & doggy will be back before i get home from work tomorrow so we can have a nice quiet christmas evening together.

i'm still woozy & dizzy. tlc's 2nd order is packaged & ready to go. 3rd order is thankully...CUPCAKES! nice & easy... i have to start my online course...oh & i signed up for bootcamp. and yogaaaaaa, i'm coming.....

i wish you & yours a wonderful wonderful christmas eve!

d.xo

i can has a cheeseburger

i fricken WISH! it's 0341h. u think they deliver?

damn you Eve!

it's all her fault, she fell to Adam's charms in the garden, and now look....

ok, that could be a BIT over the top. having said that, wtf....why must we women suffer so?
night sweats? more like night drenches....i am FAR too young for this...i swear after 2 or 3 nights like that my electrolytes are WAAAAAY out of whack....does that explain the nausea & dizziness?

meh. i had to run to michaels craft store....oy! i am so glad i am finished all my Xmas stuff for the year....ppl are CRANKY! and mean! and bitchy! it's all elbows out, every man, woman & child for themselves....

TLC is about to deliver their very first cake, order #2...so exciting...so nerve wracking...i feel like buddy on cake boss...my tummy is in knots over the transfer....i will be PISSSSSSED if the transfer does not go well....pleeeeeeeease please don't let me screw up the transfer! planning out the flattest, un-bumpiest route...

is it nap time yet??

d.xo

where is the world is carmen sandiego???

i didn't realize that it had been a few days since i posted!
hey, i've been busy!

what can i tell you today....
rocketgirl isn't feeling well (insert sympathetic noises here)

christmas is almost upon us, although, we had ours with the boys on friday and it was lovely.
it's so funny and wonderful to see the looks on their faces while they open gifts!
one of the gifts we got them was DJ Hero. OMG! So hilarious! i think i might sneak downstairs to play it today while they aren't here....whiggida whiggida whiggida whack!

other than that, we are cruising right along...nothing crazy.

TLC makes me laugh! i don't know what i expected....but we have orders! LOVE IT! and i love all the support we are getting from our families, friends and others! it's so fantastic!

i guess that's it....i know, not very exciting....

do something amazing today!

d.xo

SUPER EXCITED!

and a wee bit frightened!

TLC is in da hooooooouse!

My wonderful friend & I have launched a little sweets company! Months of blood, sweat & tears....ok, revisions & revisions over logos, business cards etc. Our blog is still a work in progress, but things are really coming along! Soon we will add all of our products & pricing!

We are on Facebook, Blogspot and we Tweet too! Hee hee!

ch-ch-ch-ch-check it out! wh-wh-wh-what's it all about!

http://www.tastylittleconfections.blogspot.com/

www.twitter.com/tlconfections

and on FB, Tasty Little Confections! Become a Fan!

yayayay!

d.xo

Happy Christmas Eve at our house!

Oy! I hate getting up to an alarm when I don't have to go to work. Can't the boys just get themselves up & off to school??? I guess those days are coming & I should enjoy these ones while I can.

One sleep til Christmas at our house.....

TLC has some wonderful new blog's and pages and things! It's just so exciting until someone says they want to order something....then I feel all....huh? deer in the headlights kinda huh...

Hubby comes home today...and has to go straight to Emerg for IV Abx. OY.

I love the quiet house...coffee...furry doggy all cuddled up...news...I could sit here all day....

d.
xo

HHHHMMMPHHHH

So guess who is NOT home for good this Thursday.

she has arrived!

along with old man winter! and i love it!

so the last trifectess is officially a resident of abby.
the gang's all here!

today i have to sort out all the little trinkets & gifts that i have been buying and putting away for the boys since october...see what I have and what's left to get. i have to get it done this week as we have our Christmas with them on the 23rd and i work from saturday to the 22nd soooooooo.

and i'm hoping to work tonight....

AND i'm hoping three sleeps is all i have to endure until my best friend comes home for good. i CANNOT wait, i so need him to come home for good.

TLC is getting OUT OF CONTROL! kidding.

i guess that's it. drive safe. happy snowy day!

d.xo

ohhh the weather outside is frightful....

i'm so excited to see some snow finally!

been a few days....do i have anything of significance to report?

hmmmmm, let's see

* a dear member of the trifecta is almost officially an abbotsford resident...
* i love that the trifecta is minutes apart!
* mr. rocketgirl has, APPARENTLY, one week left in mountainland
* today we are getting our tree @ the tree farm and decorating gingerbread kids
* TLC has their first order!!!!!! WOOOOOOT

and it's 2 weeks today until Christmas!
LET IT SNOW!!!!!

d.xo

have you done your holiday baking yet??

YAWN

sooooo,

• completed shopping - negative
• tired? affirmative
• going to work - affirmative
• should i have told staffing yes? negative, ok affirmative

to all of you who get to go to bed soon, nighty night
to all of you night shifters, wake me if you catch me sleeping at the nurses station!
d.xo

live from abbotsford....

it's saturday night....and i am here @ work.
me sleepy, me tired, me sneezing! oh no! better nip THAT in the bud...

the THPCU christmas party was last night! and OMG! SO FUN!
SUCH a good crew! i had so much fun decorating and setting up!
the party went off without a hitch, just a perfect christmas gathering!
many thanks to you buckshee for opening your lovely home to us all
(i gave my trifecta parts their gifts....FINALLY! oh man i had been so anxious about that! i could hardly keep my mouth shut! one cried, one looked stunned, i just hope they love them...a little special something to show them how much i love them, and i know they would never buy it for themselves....)

tomorrow, i will sleep for a few hours....and i am determined to finish my
christmas shopping. i've made a list, i've checked it twice, should take me no less than 2 hours.
hunny pie handsome hubby got his gift from me the other night....he was itching for something that was on sale....besides, i got my gift early!

baby it's cold outside, bundle up and enjoy your sunday!

d.xo

another year has come & gone

0205h Tuesday, December 1, 2009

How, exactly has this happened. As I sit here and listen to the sounds of work (creaking pipes, rattling ceiling joints, snoring patients, pyxis drawers opening and closing, downward occlusion beeps) I wonder, just where the heck this past year went.

As usual, this past year has been a mass roller-coaster ride for me. You know, I always assumed that as you got older, things would make more sense, you'd feel more settled and experience more peace. Generally speaking. I find however, that things make LESS sense, I feel LESS settled and have experienced the least amount of peace than in recent years. Now why is that?

I thought my heart was full and I had no room for anything else. My heart grows three sizes too large every day that I see and experience something new with the boys. I just can't even believe how funny & wonderful their personalities are. I can hardly wait til their Christmas concerts this month. I have Kleenex ready. I just know I will bawl. I cannot help it.

Quinn overheard me say the other day that my body seemed to be changing....I meant the strange going-on's lately, the exhaustion, the clumsiness, the hormone swings, and he says to me, mom, it's ok my body is changing too! I love you Quinn. And I love you Mason. You tear at my heart strings every single day.

My family....end of story. Aren't things a mess. My heart aches everyday. So I try not to think about it. Maybe one day....hopefully not too late.

The ex. Always tricky, we don't always have success, but I think we are doing the best we can. Thank god he is a good father. I still remember the good times.

My in laws....thank you. Just thank you so much.

My job, I love. I really & truly do. Now, I didn't get into school this fall and as a result, have experienced doing things for ME! What a novelty. I'm starting back to yoga this month. Truly, that was a turning point for me this past February. And I cannot believe I have abandoned it. I feel shame for the state that my downward dog will surely be....but not for long.

It's been a really tricky year this year for friendships. I feel like I have lost some. I know that I have gained some. I have daily struggles regarding friendships. This is not something I expected to be dealing with at the age of "29-again" I am still learning not to build walls. I can count on one hand though, the friends that have helped me get through this year. They have built me up and allowed me to feel like a little bit of me. No, alot of me. I so love you.

There's a possible new venture on the horizon...it excites me. I wonder if it can work...I so want it to.

I just want to be happy. Settled and peaceful. It sounds so easy. Yet, so intangible. It's definitely work. Sometimes hard, but it usually pays off. I just have to keep reminding myself of that.

I need to work on patience and acceptance and forgiveness.

One thing that remains constant, is my far too wonderful husband. Sometimes, I sit and think about who we used to be apart, then who we were together, and how we have changed together and grown together over the years. The most I have learned about myself has been since he came into my life. The most I have learned about love, I learned from him. His neverending amount of patience for me, and his neverending amount of understanding for me I find astounding. I think I sometimes push it and push it to see how far I can go....He keeps me grounded, he keeps me in line, but most importantly he lets me be exactly who I am, no matter how good or bad that is and yet, he loves me unconditionally, without judging, or scolding or cutting me down. I hope to get used to that at some point. I hope to stop worrying whether or not I deserve someone so wonderful. I am lucky to have him, the boys are lucky to have him and I feel so thankful that we are a family. I need to remind myself how good we have it. I shouldn't have to, but sometimes I need to.

It's 0245h. It's not really taken me this long...pt bells are going, there's chit chatting, the site leader is bustling about...

It's December, my very favourite time of year. MY new year. I hope to be a better me this year, for my family & my friends. And most of all for me. I can do this.

d.xo

i'll be making a list

So, Santa came by early....this past Friday to be exact.
Santa was OH SO very thoughtful....this is what he brought...Merry Christmas to me!

There I was, plagued with guilt, and my hubby knew it.

He starts his last set of classes in January, I knew he spent FAR too much money on this gift. Simply the wrong time to be spending THAT kind of money on me, totally unnecessary.

So he says, "My love, please don't feel guilty. I wanted to buy you that for Christmas." "and if you want, you can think of it as a thank you for putting up with me being away in Whistler for 2 years."

Naturally, I am completely aghast! A thank you? For putting up with Whistler for 2 years??? Um, I'm sorry, WHAT???!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 2 years? Well, you better keep those gifts comin' boy! ;)

T.G.I.T.

SO thankful that my hubby, my best friend comes home today. it's been a long, lonely week. hurry safely home my love! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

i was thinking about working today

...when the call did NOT come in...and thankfully so

instead, i got bossed into going shopping, which was lovely. thank you buckshee.

i have slowly been getting out my christmas decorations, minimal success.
admittedly, i have been listening to Christmas music for about 2 weeks and it has been getting me thru the day. or days rather.

thursday & friday are baking days. i have to replicate?/duplicate? a cake for baby Haylie's 1st birthday on saturday....pics to follow. and on friday, TLC is prepping goodies for the THPCU Party. mmmmhmmmmm. what's that? you need a business card? can i get back to you on that?

going to the gym tonight. back to work for 2 tomorrow. it's cold out. i hope it snows.

d.xo

i guess i lose.

i am very unhappy today.
i am very confused today.

adult relationships are difficult.
i should never have opened myself up.
& yes, i know how pathetic & dramatic this looks.

bitter.

i feel at my best when i am home with my family...

what a great saturday;

• xmas craft fair shopping with the boys
• conning the boys into haircuts
• starbucks
• vids, love the wii
• dinner out avec the fam
• wine & pjs
• sil's droppin by for shits & giggles
• wine & signs

but nothing's shaking the growing apprehension, my gut says to stay home for a few weeks.

hi-fives!

it's half hooky-day!

bored.

lonely.

went and got the boys from school at noon.
we're having hot dogs, chocolate cake, chocolate milk & watching movies.
you don't have to ask Quinn & Mason today who rocks...

hopefully i can talk them into naps so i can zzzzz before night shift.

so glad to have another weekend off with the three men in my life. you too fur man. (that's roy fyi.)
t-18 hours til days off again. i could get used to 3 day sets.

d.

ooh i love a rainy night...

but not that crazy wind! 90 km in abby overnite!

i tell you i went to bed, one hour later, i was awoke & was shakin in my boots! absolute fear that a tree was going to come down onto the roof! the house & windows shook so hard! i was debating going into the basement to sleep to avoid crashing trees when i must have fell asleep, for i woke again to silence. thank gawd! i so badly needed sleep. and i got it, aside from the sweat. eeeeew!

i am going to my new home today. my new home for a year. trying to embrace this new change, i ASKED for this new change but there are nerves nonetheless. i just want to nurse. that's all.

whole foods. starts today. tyring to be firm for two weeks again. and i gotta get back to the gym. i might have to start seeing the PT again for some real motivation....

jackets & boots today people!

d. xo

a very blustery day!

what a day for a daydreeeeam

Sunday is upon us. I love these drizzly fall Sundays.

I didn't have anything better to do other than bake, cook and lounge.

Lounging of course, is an all encompassing term for reading, vegging, snoozing, NOT CLEANING, web browsing, munching and tea drinking.

What did I bake today? Chocolate chip cookies, a cake whose icing colour did not turn out (headin to whistler now...), a practice cake...using fondant! Unless it needs more time to set, the fondant is really chewy...not too sure what i think yet...Argh! I have been awarded the duty of my niece's 1st birthday cake. No pressure at all. Practice photos to come...

What did i cook? Lasagna for dinner tonight, mini lasagnas for lunches and one person dinners, home-made split pea & ham soup, my italian chicken dish into individualized portions again...

The boys are home, my gingerbread candle is alight, and all is right with the world.


d. xo

days off!

FUCK YEAH!!!!!!
after that set?????
hoooooooweeeeee!

good riddance cheam 2

i have had 2 hours sleep after a night shift. i am going in for another.

i am so exhausted and worn out. fighting with your ex's gf for days takes alot out of you. i am on the verge of barfing i am so exhausted.

and tonight, i am going to nurse 11 patients in an unsafe environment. i cannot express my disgust in words about how i feel about my shift and what has been going on at work.

thankfully, tomorrow is another day.

Lest We Forget

So I sit here, just finished watching some ceremonies in Toronto...usually I watch the news, but I'm glad I caught it.

Normally, talk of war enrages me. Watching the ceremony fills me with sadness. The camera pans over the crowd, very elderly men, with impeccable haircuts, very decorated, so many medals, tears streaming down their faces. And at the same time in the corner of the screen, they were flashing photos of the Canadian soldiers who have died in Iraq. These photos were mostly of babies. Young men, young women.

I understand completely that we have what we have today thanks to the great men & women who fought wars before our time. But the only word that comes to mind when I see those young faces is senseless. Yet when I say senseless, I feel selfish.

I never ever ever want to be one of those mothers who has to grieve her son. Lost to war. RIP Private Chad Horn

spending all day in the kitchen. true story.

dear abby

this is one of my favorite things to do. sit quietly on the couch, watch the news, drink coffee, catch up with my hubby and wonder when the boys will get up while secretly hoping they sleep just a little while longer.

so recently i told you i was moving to Baker 2. friday afternoon, i rcvd a call from the mgr of ER: "oh i have a full time temp line for you, i'm so excited to have you back! please call me and let me know if you are still interested, which i know you are, I am just so pleased!"

uh help? no seriously. help. a quick pro's & con's list for you;
baker 2 one N shift every, one N every other set is alot of Ds in a row
ER 2D 2N, 5 off, ER 2 nights in a row
baker 2 fantastic learning opps, ER fantastic learning opps
baker 2 naptime nights!, ER don't sleep on breaks!

as a LPN, will i get more in ER? will i get more training?

i dunnooooooooo. to be honest, for some strange reason, i am looking forward to going to B2. i don't quite know that i am ready to back to ER on a full time basis. having said that, if the line was PERMANENT, then it would be a no-brainer for me.

i'm only afraid to miss out on the different opportunities that the LPNS come across in ER. and i am very afraid to disappoint the ER mgr or burn any bridges with her.

advice?

d.xo

mom, can i get a spongy finger???

sitting here in my housecoat still. oh i have been mildly productive, don't get me wrong.
i showered, make up is on, there is SOME laundry going and i have been monitoring my son's Facebook musings....

he BEGGED and begged and i relented as he wanted to play with his friends. but on ONE condition. i get and set the password. so the monitoring has begun, for the most part it has been harmless and cute. we have had a lengthy chat about respect, responsibility, bullying and the like. i also threw in that the RCMP monitor all FB pages; fear tactics 101. and i think he took that to heart, as his grandparent-in-laws are both RCMP Staff Sgts. we shall see.

it's hailing out as we speak, i am thoroughly enjoying this lazy saturday. i'll be getting dressed just in time to go to an early dinner with the fam @ me n' eds pizza and then to the abbotsford heat hockey game. mason is JUST beside himself.....

d.xo

happy friday

there is always room for dessert

wind. i love wind. i want my babies home. i want my schmoopy poo home RIGHT MEOW!

somedays, i feel like they are the only ones in the entire world that can hold me up, the only ones at all that i can count on. i was raised as the oldest child in a home with a disabled middle sibling that required alot of attention. and then my pesky baby bro, so i was raised to be VERY independent...the bad news to that, is that sometimes, i feel like i don't need anyone or anything, cuz i can just handle life on my own...cuz i always had to. sometimes being that independent ain't always cool, i have to remember to let ppl in.

these days tho, i feel like i give and give and give, and don't get me wrong, giving can be a very beautiful thing. i love making ppl happy. just don't let people take advantage of your giving nature. it's a terrible realization/feeling. like a kick in the gut.

it's ok. my babies are on their way. my best friend in the whole entire world, the one who doesn't judge, lets me be me, will be here tonight. and then i have all that i need. oh and maybe a cranberry bliss bar too. well.

d.xo

it's my second fave Police song....

so lonely, so lonely, so lonely, i feel so alone yeah.

aaaw heck, it's not as pitiful as it sounds. i'm just sitting in the back pod. ALONE. c'est tres bizarre. 10 patients. uncool. not hard, not crazy, but odd. first night in 18 shifts that i have worked alone. kinda nice i have to say...goes much quicker this way. although i miss my student. i like her...she is crazy i tell you, bought me all of these gorgeous thank you gifts....however i don't think i like this ward anymore.

you know, in all fairness it's what, 3 days old? but the vision for the unit doesn't really fit me. so i'm going back to cali cali cali...er Baker 2, aka 2 West, where I was born and raised. it's busy there, the kind of busy i need to be at work. and also, they will get to absorb our lost & forgotten neuro patients. i really really enjoyed working neuro. temp full time til end of september of 2010. suits me just fine, and i'm looking fwd to the change.

laaaaaay it on the liiiiiine. i'm listening to rock 101 on the computer here in good old back pod. lay it on the linnnne. don't waste my time.

let's see, what else......OH! got my shot today. you know, THE shot. the RN who "shot" me should be ashamed...poor technique. i'd like to jab her some day :) it's just getting achy now, 5 hours later. oink.

so glad to be off the entire weekend. husband and boys. all weekend. glorious. just glorious.

happy middle of the night.

d. xo

just sayin'

ok, here is the not so ugly cake

AND, i made a card. (for veronica) some basic pretty scalloped edging thing, with a nursey vibe. i woulda taken a picture but i licked the envelope shut. it was truly nothing impressive.

ps. i'm not so bitchy anymore.

xo

ok, here is the ugly cake

this is the last time

i have been trying to update this all fucking morning and now i'm the pissiest i have ever been.
all this damn technology and nothing ever works.

i baked some cakes, i decorated some cakes, one is ugly, one is not. it's for veronica, my LPN student who is finished her preceptorship tonight.

no wit, no pictures, i'm done.

you can't always get what you want

but if you try sometimes, well you just might find, you get what you need. whether you like it or not.

oh MAAAAAAN

post night shift is such a hard mood to pull off.
i do not do it very well.

it doesn't help when the dog pees on the floor. and you step in it.
it doesn't help when you drop a gallon of milk on the floor. after you've de-lidded it.
it doesn't help when your sprinkles tip over. effin cookies.
it doesn't help listening to doors slam upstairs. "get out of my life" "i'm not IN your life" kids.
it doesn't help when your dog pees on the floor. AGAIN! WTF!?!

i was supposed to therapeutically bake halloween cookies today. it feels like a chore.
but i know that my son will carry them proudly to his party tomorrow. having said that,
i've eaten more of the sugar cookie dough than cookies i have produced.

my outlaws are coming tomorrow for two nights. my husband is coming home tonight.
i am going to try and be nice to him, but i can't promise anything. i'm cranky!

fine. xo. there.

bok bok!

here is my "vegan" cake. which essentially just means eggless. but boy i can sure market the "vegan" bit....for those of you born & bred in the 70's you might recognize the taste of it as chocolate wacky cake. the eggless recipe i used is IDENTICAL to the wacky cake recipe my mother uses, MOIST (whose hated word is that???) and dense, but gooooood.

here is what i don't like, those ugly cake boards. from now on i will buy plain & cover...and my dots are getting better, my writing was...mmmm....not so good, maybe more piping gel??

the reason i made a vegan cake, a gal from our unit is leaving, and i told her i would bring her a cake, she does not eat eggs, et voila! again with my star tip. ohhh faithful friend star tip. Thank you to Masey Moo Cow who looks at me with utter amazement with each new creation, and to Pushpinder, i will miss you immensely!

the circus is coming!

so my clowns weren't as bad as i thought. but i only made two.

my other cupcakes were just for fun. i had to use my halloween liners tho, i ran out of brown ones :(

next week is cake class graduation. my icing is getting better, my chocolate icing is da bomb! i'm well versed with my star tip as you can see...my children think I am FRICKEN amazing. man that is a good feeling for a momma!

pssssst!

so, Buckshee knows our "secret"

and I think we created a monster!!!!

i don't know what you're talking about...

well. it's night time. i went back on the whole foods diet today. i did ok until the hershey's kiss avec macadamia nuts...i had three. and at least 3 teaspoons of homemade icing. not bad. not bad at all.

work was busy, but good. our household has been very very quiet tonight. we are stressed & pensive, the boys are at their fathers, the dog is playing with a mitten.

the dishwasher broke today, it won't drain, and the plumber is having a hard time fixing it.

tomorrow is monday. things will be better on tuesday. at creepy clown cake class.

mix mix, stir stir

getting ready for lesson 3 while hubby is doing some side plumbing work today....

boys & i are heading to costco. on the list; big bag o' icing sugar.

making batch after batch of icing today in stiff, medium & thin. you know, for breakfast.

goin to Michael's to get some more icing bags & some more couplers & regrettably, clown heads as well as tip #1 & 67. capiche?

making cookies with the boys today for their class halloween parties. and cake. and cupcakes.

i'm obsessed.

have a sugary saturday. xo

i feel shame

and i feel guilt for posting a cranky post. sorry. GILLLLLLLEEEEEEE.

NOT HAPPY

I'm afraid there will be nothing happy or witty about this post.

You know, I BUST my ass.....nothin. I have been trying and trying and trying to obtain a regular line at work for what seems like forever. And I could kick myself for always for not taking the line offered to me a few months back. It would have been terrible for my family, just terrible but would that have been better than not knowing where the next paycheque comes from???

I know, that's a been drama queen-ish. I'm just pissed off. 2nd in line becomes 2nd in line once again. WTF. I am trying REAAAAAAAAAAALLY hard to see the good in it.

At least this way I don't miss out on anything....such as events with the kids at school, party time...meaning festive things coming up, and i can get down to ~ secret ~ tasks.

On the other hand, with all this nursing uncertainty going on...I'm freaked out & I am mad. I just want a home. a work home. faaaaack.

don't talk to me tonight :(

stop, drop & roll!

guess what i did today. got up. took boy 1 to school. came home. took boy 2 to school. came home. ate 4 more pillsbury halloween cookies. went to bed.

so it's noon thirty-ish. time for a shower i guess. go get a coffee. go get boy 1, go get boy 2. drink some more coffee. tidy the house. make dinner. wait for steven. bed. sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

for all you sports fans out there, it's philly vs the angels or the yankees in the WS. i'm ok with philly & the angels. not those dirty rotten oughtta be tossed out of the mlb new york yankees. except you johnny damon. you bring your hot little ass to my house, get in line behind Daniel Goddard & Taylor Lautner. Oh hell, who's in for a dawn sandwich!

i had the strangest dream during my morning nap. it was about MCBabyC. no lie. she was in a teal green, off the shoulder super ruffly ball gown, we were trying to find the right escalator in Guildford Mall (but it wasn't really Guildford...you know how that goes) the escalators went all which way, all of a sudden the escalator stairs went flat while we were on them. i knew she was talented but she got down, arms straight up over her head like a pencil and rolled all the way down the rest of the stairs and into a bank. Unscathed. WOW.

and that is why you don't eat handfuls of pillsbury cookies prior to napping.

cake boss

Well, there she is. Cake number 2. Everyone in cake class had to bake and ice the same one.

I admit, it ain't that pretty. There's crumbs, there's blobs, but I do think it looks maybe, sorta, kinda cool...at least my workmates thought so. I mean who doesn't love cake on nightshift?

Next week we learn clowns. Whiiiiich I find creepy. Creepy clown cupcakes. Yikes.

So what else is new? Not much.

Had a lovely weekend away avec le Spruits. Homemade Eggers, venison...teacher teacher teacher!

8 shifts left on my home floor. Sad.

Miss my schmoopy poo. The boys are wonderful. Roy is a pain. But cute.

I don't want to sell the house anymore. So sick of showings etc. Meh.

Buckshee arrives soon! yay!

And I ate icing for breakfast. True Story.

for judi on night shift

cuz she got up today and said...what? no update?

okay. here it is.

so i went to cake class. it was, well, interesting. i took notes! i did! i tell ya, that cake lady makes it look so easy.

so i baked a cake today in my new 3 inch deep pan, so i can cut it in half with my new cake leveler......and then i told mason, hey cake for dessert! what colour would you like?? (as i cross my fingers that he doesn't come up with anything remotely difficult) white he says, with purple dots. DONE! that sounds easy right????

i can tell you this; the cake was less than beautiful. but quinn & mason said it looked like it came from the store! but tastes better!

i so love that they thought it was so amazing looking...they didn't even notice the flaws, and there were many. it warmed my little heart to see those looks of amazement on their faces. yep, that's me. CAKE HERO.

here is ugly cake number 1. in all honesty, i was practicing for when i have to go to cake class on tuesday.

be nice.



ps. i know, what the heck are those pointy things? my goal is perfect dots.

happy thanksgiving

i did it.

i cooked thanksgiving dinner again.

i love doing it. i love thanksgiving.

good memories of days gone by.

i hope these are some of the days that my kids will remember.

i am exhausted.

and it will always be worth it.

a cornucopia of wonderful things

i really don't deserve him.

i spent yesterday on the couch. crampy, sore, you know how it is. i had a little dr appt yesterday. anyway, my sweet loving husband knew this and offered to bring dinner home. and so he should! ;)

so i'm waiting, and waiting, and waiting....and shooting him where r u text messages...hurry up text messages, and truth be told, i was getting a bit irate! honestly, how long does it take to drive home from whistler and pick me up a pita???? HONESTLY????

well. the lions gate bridge was shut down, extra long drive, excuses excuses.

he FINALLY saunters thru the door and get this...

he has been all around abby for the last hour gathering my favorite things;


*stopped by the sushi place for my favorite rolls

*stopped by the vietnamese noodle house for my favorite soup

*stopped by pita pit for my favorite pita

*stopped by the dessert store for my favorite pie & chocolate cake in case i couldn't decide

*stopped by the grocery store for a root beer, a coffee crisp and a microwaveable warming bag
for my tummy.


i still don't even know what to say. i love you my husband.

waiting....

for so many things in october to happen...

~hubby...to get home (for the weekend...don't go there)
~sunday...late night movies with my 3 favorite boys
~monday...turkey day!
~tuesday...my first cake decorating class
~experimenting...with cake! (tlc)
~work...simmering down time...i hope
~the house...to sell
~next weekend...whistler with friends
~the 26th...the results
~the 30th...immunization exam
~buckshee...to move to abby
~halloween...cuz we are one step closer to christmas

it seems far away, the end of the month. sadly, i know on november 1st i will wonder to myself...i remember on the 8th, making this list....seemed like yesterday.

not impressed.

guess who ISN'T coming home for good in 13 sleeps.

charm school my ass

"i can't post to your blog!"
"what's wrong with your blog?"
"you're settings are not right"
"i don't know what your settings are"

**enter dawn to thpcu to see if her wonderful friend can help her make sure that her settings are correct**

"okay okay, hang on, how do I find your blog?"
"well your blog isn't on my list of friends blogs cuz...i haven't had the time"
"oh."
"OH"

**exit dawn in a huff. see, even after buckshee gave her this crap about a certificate from yolanda platypus, she cannot admit that she was wrong and has always been able to post to the blog. doubtful she even tried.**

**dawn checks blog. sees ...

BLAH BLAH BLAH???????????????????????????????????**

We are SO BREAKING UP!

ixnay alloweenhay

honestly. it's cuz I have no self control. the mini's, they seem so unassuming, it's like they don't even count. and i love them. with all my heart. and my scrubs are tight.

lucy in the sky.....

i think i'm high. our real estate agent says...um maybe spruce up the main bath a bit. so steve tried to paint the counter top. (DON'T ASK) but it looked furry. yes. furry. so I said, well you can get this stuff that paints on countertop, that makes it all countertoppy and textured. steve says, no no no, for 50 bucks i can get a new countertop. i say no no no, we ain't sinkin any more money into this place. it's 10 bucks for the paint, 10 minutes of my time badda bing badda boom.

the lovely homely paint girl @ home depot sold me just what i needed. so after i taped everything up proper i shook that aerosol can like there was no tomorrow. WAIIIIIIT! aerosol you say? mmmhmmmm. it wasn't pretty. so i thought, hmm, i will just use the paint roller over it...bitta texture. um, yeah, no. so i got out the furry paint again. which really isn't furry. and painted it a fourth time. and now, it's true. i think i could quite possibly be high as i write this. who ever said huffing aerosol paint was a bad thing. i gotta call the countertop store before steve gets here.

om

i NEED to go back to yoga. there's a few other things on my list. my to do list.

for fun:

cake decorating class ~ signed up!
jewelry/beading class
pottery class
i would like to learn to knit. scarf? toque?
card making


for nonfun:

immunizations course ~ signed up!
mental health worker certificate
maternity upgrade
peds upgrade

i NEED to go back to yoga. I was getting quite good at my Sun Salutations. And my downward dog was becoming really quite impressive. More importantly, I felt....sane.

Monday. Meh.

something for me

I'm in a REALLY pissy mood these days. I don't have anything nice to say to anyone. Not a thing. To no-one. I pretty much hate everything. Do you know, I have never ever ran my mouth about my ex in public. I'm not about to now....but that COULD have something to do with my mood. And I'm tired of everyone's bloody negativity. It's really not good. For some reason it attaches to me like a magnet. And it grows & festers til it overcomes me. I feel mad and angry and sad. I'm good at building walls around me. It's safer that way. Nobody gets hurt.

On the flip side, I signed up for a beginner, Wilton Level 1 cake decorating class. Why? God only knows. We don't eat cake. Although I think we should.

I could only wish to be this happy right now. I guess I should probably start taking orders. Cakes by Rocketgirl?

trying to get used to the idea...

so. quinn's new school has one of the most highly regarded band programs in all of western canada. when i grew up, dorks joined the band. apparently it's the cool thing to do now. and while i have been prepared for some time that this was coming....we bought quinn an acoustic guitar for his birthday in May...i think it's def going to take more time to get used to.

quinn was told, there is only room for 3 bass guitarists in 6th grade band. 4 children wanted to play. names were drawn, quinn + his best bester both drew bass guitar along with a girl. so i have ONE happy 11 yr old. and of course quinn + his bff have been planning the demise of the Jonas Brothers ever since band class on wednesday.



a bass guitar comes with an AMPLIFIER! wtf! so while this isn't quinn's actual setup, we go on saturday to the music store to get it all, (and of course i will post pics of his proud little face as we select his guitar, amp etc) i find myself staring at this picture...trying to absorb it all. envisioning the noise that is home practice requirement wafting from the basement. trying to love the pending noise, proud that he wants to learn music.

hey, have you met my son quinn? he's a rockstar. he bought me a boat & we're going to the grammys. omg, what am i going to wear?

patience is a virtue...

you know, i have been trying to post for days. the computer works fine, the internet...no problems there. i just have nothing to say. well, ok, i have LOTS to say, just really can't be bothered. i'd LIKE to be bothered but...been a helluva week.

pure emotional & physical exhaustion. finally thought i was recovering from my hell summer work schedule + vegas....and the news hit. really shitty news at work. really difficult times ahead. morale has hit a new all time low. i really hope we can all pull thru this.

we have been stressing, as if we have room for more stress this week, about selling our home/buying a home. i don't even know where to begin. MEH.

first full week of middle school for quinn, it's going really well. so far. my heart doesn't know what to do...swell with pride cuz he is so damn cute trying to be all grown up or hurt cuz he's just a little little boy...trying to be all grown up.

6 days off. hopefully just 4 or 5 though. we'll see.

not even a wave...

Grade 3. Grade 6. How did this happen???

I mean look at them? No nice pants, no collared
shirts. I tried. But apparently it IS cool to wear
baggy jeans and hoodies (as the approx 500 middle school kids wore) And I am unhip. Did I
mention you don't tie up your sk8 shoes either??

So middle school was a madhouse. The nervous hovering 6th grade parents. Present company included...I could hardly tear myself away to get to the elementary school...which was nice. Same parents, (we still hover) same classmates, wonderful teacher. Wonderful little contained
school. Familiar.

Quinn didn't look back. Not once.
Mason gave me a kiss, but was gone in a flash.

Thank gawd it's only a half day. I wonder if they know that I still need them to need me???

Weekend Update

Good News! See that? That's a potential new addiction. I would like to thank Mona. I had NEVER heard of this glorious girly company before our trip to Vegas. And now, in my possession...TODAY, is a gorgeous Pandora bracelet. I had a charm bracelet once as a little girl.... See the blue polka dot bead at about, oh...5 o'clock in the photo? I got that one! I also got two gorgeous clips and an OWL charm! I love owls. So wise...whoooooo. Bad News! I am not allowed to wear it until my birthday...c'monnnnnnn December!

I'm on days off. Busy day...coffee...shopping...Besides my new trinket, Quinn got a cell phone. Meh. It's for safety. Can't he just be my baby for a little while longer?

The boys got haircuts! (What? didn't you hear? on the news? hell froze over today!) Mason got a trim. Quinn got a bonafide short hair do! Naturally I love it. Sigh.

The rest of the day was, relaxing, nail painting (Sephora OPI High Maintenance ~xoxo Buckshee) and dinner out @ the OSF. Wine on the couch finishes up my day. 2 thumbs up.

Happy Labour Day!

what the eff?

i screwed up my blog page! i tried to spruce it up. then i tried to revert back to what it was. oh lordy, pick a bale of cotton, i am JUST not that smart. i THINK it is back to normal.

from the blackberry?

I really am quite technologically advanced if I do say so myself.

i have mad cow disease

today is going to be a really cranky, angry, bitter, bitchy day. and knowing this makes me angrier, crankier, bitterier (it's a word so shut it) and bitchier.

i mean who has time for starters to update a friggen blog at 0600h. oh right me, cuz i have been awake STEWING all night.

i would just like to say, it's pretty darn sad when you have to live in the past. when you live there, you don't live here. think about what that does to those around you, close to you. and with every word out of your mouth intended to make one feel foolish, you know it's only a cover to make yourself feel better. it must be a terrible self-realization to know you have such a mean vindictive streak having run your mouth to cut others down and that you are fighting a losing battle. sometimes life sucks. sometimes it's downright shitty.

but guess what, here's what you need to do; quit being such a baby, get up, dust yourself off, put on your big girl panties, hold your chin high and have some self respect. shut your mouth. quit trying to make others look bad cuz you feel you were so wronged. own it. you'll have a different perspective on life if you do. you'll feel better if you do. and you deserve it, not to mention the people close to you.

the choice is yours. i'd say thanks for ruining my day...but i am taking my own advice. own it, move on. done.

ARGH!

i JUST did a posting and somehow erased it all. MEH! i'll give you the jist of it;

~ tired. 1.5 weeks to go til my work schedule resumes to normal.
~ anxiety. 10 days til my first born goes to middle school.
~ indecision. firing our realtor and starting over. lots to consider.
~ anticipation. whistler is almost over. we can finally have our family intact the way it should be.
~ motivation. needed desperately! :) post vacay blues. back to blueberries & chicken. gym? ew!

i'm just going to sit here and relax with my coffee. and i feel perfectly justified in doing so.

xo

Vegas 2009

Well, we survived. 5 nurses on the loose in Las Vegas. A great time had by all. I did the things that I personally set out to do...lay in the sun, eat (& eat & eat), shop...a severe lack of sleep still wears on me today, but was well worth it.

I was introduced to the Cheesecake Factory, Pandora, Dooney & Bourke. I finally got my Coach bag. The Lion King Production was fantastic. One of our nights out, which ended at 0500h, was a fun-filled night of the Ghost Bar, The Moon Bar, which are both high-rise, patio style nightclubs, The Playboy Club and much drinking. And I know why I don't do that often. Far too old for that kind of debauchery. But I do miss Szechuan.

Vegas 2009 Bitches.

xo

24 hours til we get on a plane!

I Blog, therefore I am...

SO, here we go! I thought I would try my hand at blogging! I follow some very lovely blogs & decided that I wanted my own! So after much thought, and many re-do's, some lovely blog advice from an experienced blogger, this is it. For now.....

I spent all morning on the couch with coffee trying to get this up & running. See? You can teach an old doggie new tricks!!! But now I am off to do chores. Don't be sad! These chores are fun! Travel insurance, exchange some money, maybe start packing.....for what you say? Oh just a little thing I call a trip to Las Vegas with the girls! I am so friggen excited. VEGAS!

Happy Saturday! xo