can we continually blame eve?

whether you have biblical tendencies or not, i'm sure you all know the story of adam & eve. the long & short of it, as i remember, is adam, being the proverbial-as-we-know-it-today-male, tempted the dimwitted female, eve, into doing something she shouldn't have. and the repercussions were a lifetime of "suffering" and i use the term loosely.

i think that we as women, really have been suffering...and again...term used loosely. i can't speak for generations past, i can only assume, but women, just look at what is on our plates on a continual & daily basis. we have jobs, children, spouses, family dynamics, social issues, financial issues, insecurities, household planning, physical & mental responsibilities not only to ourselves, but to our loved ones & others around us. i find the ones that seemingly "suffer" are...well...us. we cater willingly, and yes sometimes unwillingly, we don't do enough for ourselves, we worry & we carry far too much on our shoulders simply because it is bred in us. i think that very well may be one of the things that make us so amazing! the ability to "do it all"! but wait, we can't do it all. and when we realize that we can't, we are left feeling low, blue, inadequate, we build walls, shut people out, pile our guilt, worries & sadness higher and higher upon our already weary shoulders. don't worry if that glory pile falls, for you can cover it with blame, a big giant blanket of blame to make you feel better.

which brings me back to eve. i could blame her for falling into temptation so long ago, thus leaving me to "suffer" for life. i could blame her for my crappy day today, for my lack of self control (there may or may not have been a bigmac involved), for my "short" words to my wee son, my tone of voice directed at my husband and the cold shoulder to the innocents in the parking lot. i could blame just about anyone to justify my poor me attitude. OR, as i sit here on night shift and feel sorry for myself & mostly pissed off that i just want happiness & light in my life, i realize i just have to take control. i can HAVE that happiness & light. i can't go on blaming "eve" no more than i can blame anyone else. putting on my big girl panties as of now. ok, it may be 0200h, but it's not delirious time yet so you know i speak coherently.

today, i am. i am what? i don't know yet, but i challenge you, as i challenge myself, to turn it all around. i want to to know what your "i am" phrase is today, the one that is going to get you thru the day and make you feel good about yourself and feel empowered. don't roll your eyes at me. do it. don't blame anyone but yourself. find something good for you! me, i'm tired of the i feel miserable , oh i feel good roller coaster i am always on, and my shoulders are beyond tired of carrying so much. today, i am changing my outlook.

everything happens for a reason. love, ROCKETGIRL. xo